Day 1

As we've been properly introduced a minute ago,i can explain to you, my virtual friend, why i'm not feeling so happy lately..
I think it all began when i was..what? 14years old,i guess...and as i was going to school i met my grandma as she was returning from the market.She had a look on her face...i will never forget that look.We talked for a while about stupid,meaningless things like what's my mother cooking for dinner and stuff like that..and then i went to my class and when i came back at home,after eating my lunch,the phone rang.It was my dad telling my mother that my grandma just had a stroke and she died.She was from my dad's side.It was heart-breaking to know that my father went to my grandma's house to check on her and he found her lying in her bed unconscious...and cold.
I didn't cry..i didn't feel as my world just fell apart,i just stood in my bed thinking about how can a person vanish from our world in a matter of hours.
Is it that simple? We come and go?
I don't know.
At her funeral, all my relatives came,even my neighbours as my grandma was a fine and respectable lady..i remember staying there staring at her corpse in her opened coffin ( being incinerated is not allowed in my religion-Christianity-so we are all burried)and thinking that she may be still in there unable to speak or to move...just watching.
As the years past by, i kept asking myself why people die and how is it so natural for us to do that.
Some people say we owe God our death...i'm sorry but i don't agree with that.I didn't ask to be born so i can't be owing anything to anyone,even if it is God we are talking about...
But this is not when i first met a duying soul.
The first time was when i was 5 years old and still living with my grandparents and my parents in my big old house and my favourite person in the whole world,my grandpa, had a heart attack while we were having lunch...we?It was only him,my grandma and me cause my parents we're at work.I remember him cutting my tomatoes as i was just a spoiled bratt (aren't we all at 5years?!)and then he collapsed..and i stood there watching my grandma yelling at me to bring some water and call one of my neighbours..and i just stood there...again.
He died instantly and there was nothing we could do.I'm not saying that i could have done something for him.I realise that it wasn't in my power,but i felt..like an observer.
Another weard moment from my childhood  was when i was 7 or 8 years old and my mother took me visiting one of her girlfriends whose daughter was 5 years old,i remember her age because i know that she was younger than me,..and she had a brain tumor.She was going to die even though we all hoped that she didn't.
Anyway,her mother asked my mother to bring me in order to cheer her up...i was there to bring comfort to her dying daughter.Raluca was her name.May God rest her soul and all the souls that have vanished from our world!

I remember that she was very fat because she was undergoing the cancer theraphy..and stood there in her living room watching at her photos when she wasn't ill.She used to be so beautiful...and now she was that person who didn't have hair,couldn't speak,just mumbling..and she had such big brown eyes,beautiful eyes who kept following me through the room,mumbling about something which i couldn't understand...and after a week or two,she died.I went to her funneral and as i was watching her cold face..i missed seeing her eyes.
And now,my dear virtual friend, i want to thank you for being here.See you tomorrow.                                             

Hello hello!

Well,this is me blogging!I'm trying to be a little bit misterious so i won't tell you so much about me from the beggining.
I decided to create my own virtual space where i can give a meaning to my life as i've been experiencing some identity crisis lately.
Will i find my path or will i simply melt down?!
We'll see about that.